ROMANCE IN OUR RELIGION

*SUMMARY OF THE LECTURE ON A SINGLE WORD "ROMANCE"*- *BAR. SHAKIRULLAHI OBALE*

*Romance* is a way of "Showing" strong feelings of love to the one you love.

Being *Romantic* is an
emotional way of proving your words to your spouse.

A person can be in love but not romantic and a person can be romantic but not in love.
Love is not romance and romance is not love, so the best of marriages are those that contain both love and romance covered with affection!

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said,
The best of you are the best to their wives and I am the best of you to my wives (Sahih al- Bukhari).

The Prophet (peace be upon him) clearly showed us here that he is the most romantic, caring, loving and sweetest husband to his wives.
What a lovely hadith.

Even Allah Himself said,
*Hunna libaasun llakum wa antum libasun llahunna.*
(They are garments for you and you are garments for them).

What better way can romance be described?

Many couples today are not romantic to each other, they only kiss each other during
copulation, they only hug each other when they receive good news.
The husband only put food
in his wife's mouth when she is sick and too weak to eat by herself, the wife only buys gifts and provisions for her husband when he is hospitalized.
They don't even
exchange love SMS', the only text they exchange is *"please call me".*

These are couples who feel its *"Childish"* to be romantic, they take life so serious that they are either discussing POLITICS or how to solve the problems in the house.
The husband merely sees the wife as a baby making machine, therefore, he only goes to her when he needs another child.

The wife too only sees her husband as a drilling
machine, she only entices him when she is horny
and needs some drilling.

They share the same bed every night yet they turn their backs on each other when sleeping and snoring. Rather than enjoying the marriage, they merely endure each other.
Yet when this two see romance being displayed on TV, they secretly admire it.

Sheik Uthaymeen, Rahimahullah said,
*The wife becomes happy with her husband when he fulfils his duty, SHOWS HER LOVE, helps her and vice versa.*
(al'liqaa as'shari p40)
.
When a couple is not romantic, even if they
claim to love each other, the love withers away gradually. Love in the heart is like a seed planted on the farm.
If you don't irrigate it (with
romance), it will slowly dry up and die away, until you begin to see your spouse as nothing but a mere liability.

The prophet Salallahu Alayhi Wassalam said,
*Trust in Allah but tie your camel.* (sunan Tirmidhi 1925).

Don't just rely on Allah that he will sustain your marriage, put in your efforts to make the marriage last.

Sheik Saalih al-Fawzaan:
*Marry a loving woman who will love her man. Don't marry a dry woman who doesn't.*
(Al ittihaf p 875)

Dear brother,
If you are not romantic towards your wife, do not
complain that she wears rags all over the house.
Why will she adorn herself for you, when you won't even look at her or give her a compliment?

At times, some wives will spend hours plaiting a very stressful but beautiful hairstyle just to
please their husbands,
when the husband comes home, he won't even notice the new hair because he doesn't *CARE!!*

Sometimes your wife spends hours preparing a
delicious meal, she inhales smoke, pepper and onion, at the end you will only eat the food and belch.
*No compliments.*
If one day her food is salty, you will tongue lash her. What kind of a husband are you who never sees good things but only the bad things?

Shaykh Raslan Said,

*Women are very fragile, if you utter a wrong word she will run away from you, if you utter a good word, she will come and sit next to you.*
(Mu'asharatun Nisa'a)

Dear Sisters,
*Learn to be romantic, don't stop being romantic simply because your husband is not. Two wrongs do not make a right. Don't get tired of looking good for him.*

Dear Ma,  know when to demand for some things.
For instance, if you have Apollo *(Conjunctivitis), *don't* go to your husband and say, *"habeebi (my love), look into my eyes and tell me you love me"*
How will he look into your eyes when you have apollo?

Many couples do not care about pleasing each other at all. They don't adorn themselves for each other.
When they have to discuss at night, they need to stylishly move far from each other because of smelly mouths since they refuse to brush before sleeping.

The Prophet and Aisha were so romantic that they even used the same brush.
Aisha radiAllahu anha said, The Prophet would use siwaak, then he would give me to wash. I would use it first, then wash it and give it back to him.
(Abu Dawood 1/45)

Spouses should learn to tickle and poke each other. Pinch his bombom, scratch his ribs or his toes, it will make him laugh uncontrollably.
Call each other with sweet names. The prophet sometimes shorten Aisha's name to
"Aeesh" or Humaira.

Abdur Rahman bin Abu- bakr said,
My father, Abu Bakr Siddiq once hosted some of
the ahlu suffah.
He asked my mother to serve them food, whenever we took a morsel, the food will grow bigger.
Abu bakr said to his wife, Oh sister of Banu Firas, what is this?
She said, ya Qurratu Ayn,
*(oh you pleasure of my eyes),* the food has increased thrice in quantity.
(Bukhari, Muslim).

If all muslim men give their muslim women their
rights in full, there will be no disbelieving woman on earth who would not respect Muslim women.

Finally,
Men should learn to call their wives in romantic ways. *Stop calling her "mama Ali*
Women too should learn to address their husbands with sweet names, do not save your husbands phone number with
*"Baban Ali or Dauda"*  Please try to use words like *my heart or my king* and others.

Brothers and sisters my interest in this statement is to eradicate *Divorce* in our homes completely.
*May Allah bless our married couples.*
For those who are still on the process, may Allah meet you at the point of your needs.
*Wa-ssalaamun alaykum*

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Can A Muslim Wear An Amulet?

Can A Muslim Wear An Amulet?

Have you been given an amulet (tira, rings, “holy” water, bante, etc) by any alfa, pastor, etc and you still have them?
Do you believe it brought your destiny to pass?

The wearing and using of amulets these days is becoming too common. Let me tell you of a hadith which was narrated from ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir al-Juhani that a group came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) [to swear their allegiance ( bay’ah ) to him]. He accepted the bay’ah of nine of them but not of one of them. They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, you accepted the bay’ah of nine but not of this one.” He said, “He is wearing an amulet.” The man put his hand (in his shirt) and took it off, then he (the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)) accepted his bay’ah . He said, ‘Whoever wears an amulet has committed shirk.”
(Narrated by Ahmad)

What is an amulet?
Amulets ( tameemah, pl. tamaa’im ) are things made from pearls or bones that are worn on the necks of children or adults, or
are hung up in houses or cars, in order to ward off evil – especially the evil eye – or to bring some benefits.

The scholars agreed that it is haraam to wear amulets if they contain anything other than Qur’aan, but they differed concerning those which do contain Qur’aan. Some of them said that wearing these is permitted, and others said that it is not permitted. The view that it is not permitted is more likely to be correct because of the general meaning of the ahaadeeth, and in
order to prevent means of shirk .
Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz, Shaykh
‘Abd-Allaah ibn Ghadyaan, Shaykh ‘Abd- Allaah ibn Qa’ood. ( Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah , 1/212)

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Eid In Islam

*EID IN ISLAM*
*بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم*

*AHKAAM AL– EID*
(Rulings on Eid)

*Fasting*
It is *haram* to fast on the days of Eid because of the hadeeth of Abu Sa;eed al-khudri (R.A), who said that the Messenger of Allah pbuh forbade fasting on the day of Fitr and the day of Sacrifice (Adhaa). (Reported by Muslim, 827)

*RULINGS ON THE PRAYER*

✔ *Some scholars say that Eid prayers are waajib* (obligatory):This is the view of the
*Hanafi scholars* and of *Shaykh Al-Islam ibn taymiyah* (May Allah have mercy on Them).

They say the prophet (pbuh) always prayed the Eid prayer and never omitted to do it, not even once. They take as evidence the aayah (Interpretation of the meaning),
“Therefore turn in prayer to your lord and sacrifice (to him only).
{Al-Kawthar 108:2}

i.e., The ‘Eid prayer
and the sacrifice after it, which is an instruction, and the fact that the Prophet (pbuh) ordered that the women should be brought out to attend the ‘Eid prayers, and that a woman who did not
have a jilbaab should borrow one from her sister.
[See Tamaamul Minnah: by Al-Albaanee:
p.344. Refer to Al-Mughnaee by Imaam ibn Qudaamah: vol. 2, p. 223.]

✔ *Some scholars say that Eid prayer is Fardul Kifaayah* This is the view of the Hanbalees. Refer to Al-Mughnaee by Imaam ibn
Qudaamah: vol. 2, p. 223

✔ *A third group say that ‘Eid prayer is sunnah mu’akkadah.* This is the view of the Maalikis and Shaafa’is. They take as evidence
the hadeeth of the Bedouin which says that Allaah has not imposed any prayers on His slaves
other than the five daily prayers. Refer to Al-Mughnaee by Imaam ibn Qudaamah: vol. 2, p.
223.

✔ *Muslims should be keen to attend Eid prayers*, Expecially since the opinion that its waajib is based on strong evidence. The goodnesss, blessing and great reward one gets from attending Eid prayers, and the fact that one is following the example of the prophet pbuh by doing so, should be sufficient motivation.

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Zakatul Fitri And Etiquettes Of Eid

*ZAKATUL-FITRI AND ETIQUETTES OF ‘EID*

*Part 1⃣*

IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, THE BENEFICENT, THE MERCIFUL

Praise be to God, Who says

(قَدْ أَفْلَحَ مَنْ تَزَكَّى (14) وَذَكَرَ اسْمَ رَبِّهِ فَصَلَّى )
But those will prosper who purify themselves, And glorify the name of their Guardian-Lord, and (lift their hearts) in prayer.(87:14-15).

I bear witness there is no god but Allah alone without partner, and that Muhammad (pbuh) is His servant and Messenger, who enjoined Zakat al-Fitr on those who fast to shield them from any indecent act or speech, and for the purpose of providing food for the needy. May Allah’s peace and blessing be upon him and his families and all his companions, and those who follow them in righteousness until the day of recompense.

As to what follow,

Dear faithful, I enjoin you and myself to fear Allah, the Almighty both outwardly and inwardly.

Allah says:

"  يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِ وَلَا تَمُوتُنَّ إِلَّا وَأَنْتُمْ مُسْلِمُونَ (102) " {آل عمران : 102}
“O you who have believed, fear Allah as He should be feared and do not die except as Muslims [in submission to Him].” (3: 102)

Dear brothers and sisters in faith, the last part of Ramadan have some recommended acts of worship peculiar to it and among these is the *zakatul-fitri* which should performed close to the eidul-fitri. It is suppose to serve as reparation for any shortcoming in one’s fasting and provision for the needy.

*Zaktul-Fitri: Definition of terms:*

Linguistically the word zakat means: blessing, growth, purification and the best of a material.

Allah says: “But those will prosper who purify themselves.” (87: 14)

Allah also says:

(خُذْ مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ صَدَقَةً تُطَهِّرُهُمْ وَتُزَكِّيهِمْ بِهَا) “
Of their goods, take alms, that so thou mightest purify and sanctify them; (9: 103)

Technically it is described as the obligatory due on wealth. (Mugniy)

The word *_Fitr_* refers to break of fast, thus when it is attached to zakat as zakatul-fitri, it means the charity given at the end of Ramadan as purification for the body and soul.

Technically as well, *zakatul-fitr* could be described as the payable amount prescribed by the shariah to be paid by a Muslim as purification for his body and soul for himself and everyone he caters for, occasioned by breaking of fasting at the end of Ramadan in a manner prescribed.

*Legal Classification*

It is classified as a compulsory duty enjoined by the messenger of Allah (pbuh). Ibn 'Umar reported that the Prophet (pbuh) made Zakat ul-Fitr compulsory on every slave, freeman, male, female, young and old among the Muslims; one Sa' of dried dates or one Sa' of barely, he ordered it should be paid before go out for the (eid) prayer.” (Bukhari)

*The philosophy behind its legislation*

Zakatul-fitri affects both the payer and the receiver, it purifies the person who fasted both rich and poor from obscenity and lewdness. It is likened to the sujudu-s-sahw (reparation prostration) which is used to restore or make up for any shortcomings in the fasting. As for the wealthy person who fasted, Allah purifies him, while the poor gets back provision beyond what he spent in his payment of the zakatul-fitr. Zakatul-Fitr also has addition benefit of blessing for both the payer and receiver.

Ibn Abbas narrated thus: “The Prophet of Allah enjoined Zakat al-Fitr on those who fast to shield them from any indecent act or speech, and for the purpose of providing food for the needy. It is accepted as Zakah for the one who pays it before the `Eid prayer, and it is sadaqah for the one who pays it after the prayer.” (Abu Dawood & Ibn Majah)

In order to satisfy the purpose of enrichment for the poor and protect them from begging on the day of joy and celebration in the community, it must be paid before attendance of people at prayer. Ibn Umar (RA) said: “The messenger of Allah (pbuh) instructed us to pay the zakatul-fitr before people move out for prayer.” Ibn Umar used to pay to those who collect it, and they used to pay it a day or two before the end of Ramadan.” (Bukhari)

*The wisdom behind legislating the value to be a Sa’ as the basic quantity per head* is that during the three days of eid and a few days thereafter people do not engage in occupational and trading activities, thus the poor man would not find who to employ him, as people are felicitating and resting after a month of fasting. And what is obtainable from a the measure of a saa’ used to make bread ... would be adequate for a poor person for four days "(Nihaayatul Muhtaaj, 3/121).

In addition, the quantity for Zakat al-Fitr is small and easier for people from most of their staple food, so that the largest possible number of people in a community could carry out this duty. 

*To be Continued..

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SABR

*🌸 ﺻﺒﺮ*

*I’ve always wondered what SABR is*

I was never given a proper definition
so my concept of it was somewhat distorted;
All I understood was that you wait
until it’s over.

But now, if I were to put it into words,
this is what I’ve gathered so far:

*SÂBR*
is suppressing that angry voice in
your head, the one that wants to
yell at people for being inconsiderate
to your struggle.

*SÂBR*
is swallowing this voice,
overcoming it and learning to
channel it towards a heartfelt du'a instead.

*SÂBR*
is forgiving someone when they
dismiss your feelings.

*SÂBR*
is meeting those who deserted
you, with a smile on your lips,
even though your tears are one
step away from exposing you.

*SÂBR*
is staying silent because you’ve
already stated your point too
many times before.

*SÂBR*
is conforming to someone’s demand because of their right over you.

*SÂBR*
is fulfilling the rights of others
even when they transgress
against yours.

*SÂBR*
is crying about your heartache in
front of Allah and no one else.

*SÂBR*
is believing wholeheartedly that
Allah has beautiful things in
store for you.

*SÂBR*
is crawling forward even when
you want to stop.

*SÂBR* is an active state of being,
it is not a theory to simply be
discussed and forgotten.

*And it is worth it.*
Every single second of it is so worth it because *_Allah Loves The Patient Ones!!_*

*_And it’s worth going through the worst of the worst if it means that it will gain you Allah’s Love_*.... 😊🌹

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